Toddler socialization - give me a break!

The other day I was talking to some friends, and they mentioned that they were putting their one year old into school (they called it that, rather than day care) because they felt it was essential that she "be socialized."

I'm still aghast at the thought, leave alone the fact that the notion of someone "being socialized" sounds rather disturbing.

Sure, it's not my place to judge, but I cannot for the life of me figure out the logic. I've heard a lot of explanations for why people think it's imperative to put their child in day care. For the most part (again, excluding situations borne out of necessity) it involves an unabashed desire for both parents to put themselves first, rather than their child. "I need to get my career going," or "we can't afford to keep the second home if I don't work." Note that these justifications don't even mention the child. But at least they're being honest about it.

It seems though, that people are now trying harder to rationalize their decision by defining the benefit that supposedly accrues to their toddler. "Socialization" is all the rage, and I'm told quite often that without day care, toddlers won't learn to play with other kids and be around other people.

Excuse me? Is it really not possible for your toddler to encounter other people, children and adults, without you having to palm them off on someone else for a few hours a day so that you can relax?

Playdates? The park? Libraries? Museums? The toddler gym? The YMCA? Your local swimming pool? Your neighbour? Your friends? There are more options than excuses, that's for sure.

Of course a toddler needs to be exposed to other people, and to learn how to interact with them. It's part of being a human being. It's just facetious to suggest that day care is either the best or the only way to achieve that. It's neither.

I know when I try too hard to rationalize something it's usually because I'm not secure in my own decision and I'm trying to justify it for myself - is that what's going on here? Am I really way off base? Do people genuinely feel that the only way your toddler can learn to interact with others is by going to day care?

I'm reminded of another toddler I know who started in day care very early. Both his parents worked, and felt that day care was going to help socialize their son. Before long, they were proudly telling people how their child loved day care so much, and was so well socialized, that he didn't even want to come home with them when they went to pick him up.

Think about that for a minute.